There is a very famous photographer who once said "being comfortable in photography can be the kiss of death". That once you are comfortable you quit pushing yourself to learn, be different, & dream. When I heard her say that I thought for sure that couldn't be true. When I first started Solie Designs I longed for the day to feel "comfortable" When I could feel like I had it all in the bag, knew what I was doing & essentially didn't have to work as hard. Cause when I first started out I spent all hours on youtube watching online tutorials on how do better my business, different editing techniques, the best way to use my camera. My life revolved around on how to launch my business and it seemed like an impossible dream to be where I am today.
Needless to say this year last year I finally felt comfortable. I had a steady flow of clients coming in, a good website, & I was respected by other photographers and business owners. With that comfort I didn't need to be aiming for the stars anymore, learning new ways of the business, or dreaming for something more. Not to mention I had been struggling between my business and family life. Everyday I felt like I was just trying to keep my head above water, between getting my work done and trying to be a good mother. I was starting to feel like I was failing at everything. So to feel comfortable in my photography abilities didn't feel like a bad thing at the time. Not to mention I finally decided to go through with getting a hysterectomy because of my long struggle with endometriosis and I felt like it was constantly effecting me and was becoming debilitating. Life seemed like a whirl wind & the only ray of hope I was grasping on to was that I was "good photographer". Until that was all put into questions too.
As a photographer one of the first things you need to do is figure out what kind of style you are going to be, whats your brand. I had always leaned towards the light and airy, film like look. I felt it was a timeless look that will never go out of style. Although I've always been great at editing photo's, I really can edit a photo anyway I want. But as a photographer you need to be consistent, so future clients know what to expect. I chose the light and airy style mostly because I would want that in a wedding photographer. So to receive emails from two of my brides who were friends, saying they decided they were going to switch photographers because they decided they wanted a different editing style "the dark and moody" made me questions everything. In my mind I thought "If no one wants the way I edit what the hell am I doing?! I might as well quit and not have to deal with the rejection". Not to mention the photographer who had reached out to my brides that they switch to, was someone I knew and worked with. So on top of it I felt stabbed in the back. I started to question everything, and then I realized I had lost the one thing that was comforting me... Photography. I really don't remember the last time I had felt so useless and worthless.