The Gidget Foundation Ladies Lunch in Sydney

Who doesn’t enjoy a lunch out with the girls?

Last Friday, I joined over 565 women, plus one man, at the annual Gidget Ladies Lunch. The lunch is a fundraiser for the Gidget Foundation, and it’s quite an event.

There’s bubbly and fantastic food.

There’s the chance to catch up with my friend and co-author, Benison O’Reilly, and to chat to lots of interesting women. I sat with Professor Bryanne Barnett, psychiatrist and expert on perinatal mental health.

Benison, myself and Gidget CEO Cathie Knox co-authored the book ‘Beyond The Baby Blues.’ 

There’s also humour, especially from MC Lisa Helmsley.

But the Gidget Lunch is much more than that.

These 565 ladies were lunching for a cause.

As one of the speakers said:

This  is not just a lunch, it’s a movement.

After our main course, come the speeches. They celebrate our collective wonder at the miracle of being a parent.

But each year, the speeches also make the audience weep too.

You see, the Gidget Foundation was started by the devastated family of a Northern Beaches mum whose nickname was Gidget.

She suffered silently from depression and took her own life.

Gidget lost her life, and her parents, sisters, husband and daughter mourn her loss.

Grieving has no timetable. Time doesn’t heal wounds completely.

Obstetrician Vijay Roach is the chair of the Gidget Foundation, he’s the bloke in the photo at the top of this post.

I want to acknowledge silent suffering.

We care. That’s what we do that’s why we’re here

Vijay’s speech was wise and empowering too. I scribbled some notes, very messily as there were tears blurring my vision.

Silence and stigma ruin lives.

There is no health without mental health.

I’d like to have each one of those quotes printed on a t-shirt to wear very proudly.

Jacinta Tynan, Sky News anchor and author of Mother Zen also made a speech. It was good to hear more about her story.

It turns out she’s had depression before her children were born. She knew she was a prime candidate for PND and feels lucky she didn’t get it.

Motherhood in fact gave her a huge sense of purpose. She felt besotted with her baby and wanted to share her elation, which she did in an infamous newspaper column several years ago.

If I of all people could turn my fear and trepidation around to enjoying motherhood then anyone could.

Jacinta did say: ‘Years later can see I was being insensitive.’

I found Jacinta’s speech amusing and touching and insightful. To stand up in a roomful of women and be, at times, brutally honest about yourself is brave and she did it well.

But I loved best what she said to the table where Gidget’s family sat:

It’s amazing what you have done with with your grief.

It is amazing what has been achieved in the 14 years since Gidget’s death.

Gidget’s family and the people who have joined with them  have created a foundation which promotes good mental health for parents and raises awareness about perinatal anxiety and depression.

Of course, I absolutely LOVE a good lunch. Lovely food, thought-provoking conversations, the warmth and the love in the room.

Although I don’t know Gidget’s family, it is a healing thing to sit in a room with them and to send silent wishes and love to them and to all the families who struggle and who suffer.

Raising funds is also fantastic.

Gidget House

The Gidget Foundation has a terrific website with very practical information.

They also run Gidget House in North Sydney which offers counselling and support.

Website is here.

Benison O’Reilly and Cathie Knox. They’ve inspired me to buy a pretty dress for the next Ladies Lunch.

We need to support each other. The empowerment of women starts with women.

There is support available for us when we struggle as parents.

I am SO grateful to have had great help when I had PND in 2000, and I got over it.

In the years since I am much better at looking after myself and in getting mental health care earlier not later.

Help for perinatal anxiety and depression

The PANDA National Helpline is the place to call. It’s open Mon to Fri, 10am – 5pm AEST
Call: 1300 726 306

See also the PANDA website.  (PANDA stands for Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia.)

The Gidget Foundation’s motto is:  Start talking

I’m so proud to have told my own story and to have helped many other mums and dads tell theirs in our book Beyond The Baby Blues.

The book’s available in Big W, good book stores and online from my favourite book shop Booktopia.

I’ll be back for the same lunch next year. Only next year I must ditch the kids and the car and stay later and drink more champagne.

I’d like to cry more and laugh a bit longer, and feel grateful for the passing of my own PND. I’d like to hold on to the connection and compassion that permeates the room at the Gidget Ladies Lunch.

If you’d like to join Benison and myself in 2016, you will be so very welcome.

Here’s to lunches and women, and love and care and support.

Oh yes, and children!

What’s made you laugh and cry recently?